Pointless thoughts on men and umbrellas
Of all the completely irrelevant social behaviours I observe when I’m around, I’ve decided this one needs to be shared.
The statement
British guys seem to enjoy going around with unnecessarily big umbrellas.
Discussion
I have noticed a singular adversion for reasonably small and practical umbrellas in male specimen in this city. The tendency seems to be either not carrying umbrellas at all (it’s not raining, it is merely a mental projection of your most subconscious prejudice about England) or carrying beach-sized umbrellas I associate with my granpa when he used to bring me a sandwich every morning before going to school. Now, I have tried giving myself explanations for this, including a physics-based reasoning according to which a small umbrella, if the guy in question is very tall, might just help him to cover his head. But other than this only explanation, I remain in the dark. Is it megalomania? Is it an deeply rooted, socially shared belief that small umbrellas are just for girls because they’re pretty? Is it another manifestation of size anxities that would make Lacan and his theory of the Phallus giggle in a corner?
So far, my question remains unanswered.
I’d go for the Lacanian theory. You should also start checking what kind of car these over-seized umbrella bearers drive. I bet you might find some useful insights into the matter. I will let you know what kind of umbrella is fashionable here, where everybody goes around by bike…it’s sad. I know.